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honeybee

by Star Student

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1.
dogtag 02:40
and if i ever get out what would this be like
2.
honeybee 02:55
just a product of anger hang my hate on a hanger I feel just like a failure when I can't decide wet hair in the bathroom do you wanna go home soon sticky note on the mirror just as bright as this love's new waking up, golden light kissing ghosts of last night as the breeze lingers in the doorframe and I when I show you that I love you through telling you all my best kept secrets you know that I mean it but you can plug your ears if you don't wanna hear it (or whatever) fuck waking me up when it's over we could all do better I want to love when I'm around you we could raise some plants together like in a little potted thing (or on a window sill) (check, check to you) swerving and crashing my heart throwing up blood and spit over the guard I don't know why I keep waking up knowing that one day I'm gonna be burning these scars chipping away at my own love at large but leaving your letters and cards unharmed taking on everything, every one, every love thinking of every dug grave that I craved from the start
3.
elaine 02:22
we carried you out on a stretcher after praying you'd get better and loaded you into a car that looked like mine were you returned to sender is this dust all you is there a single part of yourself you never used cuz I'm scared of when my love leaves for Boston and when you died I saw myself in the toxins again living out of laundry baskets sleeping on the couch I don't understand where you went I'll try to figure out where I've been all the while time is passing by like when did all of this happen (oh shit) I'LL BE FUCKING GONE IN A COUPLE OF MONTHS I'M STRUGGLING TO CLAIM THE WORTH INSIDE THE AIR OF MY LUNGS WHEN EVERY INSTITUTION ENFORCES CONTORTION OF THE VERY VALUES THAT WERE WEAPONIZED TO CONDITION AND IMMOBILIZE OUR YOUNG AND THAT'S THE FUCKING FACT OF IT LADY LIBERTY'S HANDS WERE FORGED TO MAKE YOU A CONVICT YOU CAN USE YOUR TEAR GAS, EXCUSES, MERITS, AND MIRRORS BUT THE GYMNASTICS OF JUSTIFICATION ARE ONLY GETTING CLEARER cuz I'm scared of when my love leaves for Boston and when you died I saw myself in the toxins again I'll let you know that I still think of you often when I'm close to feeling like I've lost it
4.
phantom limb 02:50

about

songs about the death of my dog, the death of a conventional definition of the individual self, and the death of the state. hrrrnnggg 𖤐

equally important - it's about the growth of new love.

dedicated to my childhood dog, Rowdy (whose dog tag I forever wear around my neck), my parents, and my loving partner (whose beauitful mind and spirit I forever cherish).

credits

released February 10, 2022

mixed, produced, and, and written by Star Student*
mastered by Jeff Bowler (@bowleraudio on Instagram)
cover art by Nayna (@naynawrites on Instagram)

*honeybee features stem contributions by @skretts

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all rights reserved

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about

Star Student Detroit, Michigan

•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•
ʕ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•ʔ•̫͡•ʕ•̫͡•

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